Just the other week, I had what one might call 'a nervous breakdown'. Why? Because my work had began to mount up to a tumultuous amount. The pressure of it all was too much to bear, and I let it out in a tearful but very fulfilling 20 minutes.
Stress, if you hadn't guessed, is what I'm talking about. And in the second year of uni, things have stepped up ten notches. I have, on average 11 hours a week of lectures and seminars. It sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Until you find out that most of the rest of my weekday are spent working for the course. On one unit, there is a hand in every week, on two others, the are every two weeks. A big hand in is happening in approximately 3 weeks.
I find that my biggest worry is photography. Each week we have something to do towards a portfolio, and every two weeks we have to complete a photo shoot along with a Journey Log that tells the reader how I came to take the photographs and how I felt it went. It is very time consuming, taking up at least half, if not more, of my Mondays, and various other hours in the week.
So, i had my break down. And now you can understand why. The stress from the workload was making me nervous and jittery. I lost confidence in myself and turned into a sobbing wreck in front of my sister, who luckily had an ear to lend.
After that outburst, I decided that there was really no need for me to feel like my life is a never-ending slog through work, with all too short weekends where I spend my time with my boyfriend. Although these weekends are welcome and relaxing, I sometimes feel like I never stop. To think about things. My mind is always working on what I'll do next. What work I need to finish, what person do I need to please?
I needed time for myself.
As a result of that conclusion, I have decided that at least once a week, I will shut myself in my room and have some sort of creative outlet, or just some 'me' time. Today, I am doing just that. I am finally letting go of my worries for a couple of hours and just enjoying life.
Yes, I still worry about what I need to do. But for now, at least, it can wait until tomorrow.