When forms are formidable

Recently, it seems to me like everything has to be done on the Internet. The world is no longer old fashioned. We can't simply do some paperwork and send it off in the post, crossing our fingers that there won't be a postal strike.

No sir, everything has gone to the Internet. As if being human wasn't taxing enough, now we have to do our taxes on it, our banking on it... some time soon we will probably have to sit on it all day to do anything.

The Internet is a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong, but after completing my student finance on it I felt like smashing my computer into hundreds of tiny pieces. Not only was it inexplicably hard to follow, but it ended up being filled out wrong and I had to reset the entire account.

In fact, any kind of form on it has me in hysterics. There is nothing easy or quick about a form you do on the Internet, no matter how much they tell you there is.

Today, I had to get a Visa Waiver. That is the last time I EVER try to get one of those. I had already lost it because I was a day late in making sure it was free, so I knew I would have to pay. From the start of the entire process, it felt like I was in a race to the finish line.

I went back to my days of never ending tension when I filled in the form for my driving license, hoping it wouldn't time me out before my instructor got back to me. At least at that point I would have someone to blame.

This time, it was me against the machine. Of course, being me, I didn't think to gather anything I may possibly need beforehand. So I was rushing frantically backwards and forwards to get my passport and a credit card. I must have looked somewhat like a headless chicken.

So yes, whilst they are very good at being to hand when you need them, and kind of quick if you can keep up with the timer so you don't need to start typing in your details for the 45th time, they are entirely impractical if you are slow at typing or a hopeless headcase like me.

Paperwork, however boring it may sound, is much better than a technological form. At least you can take your own sweet time doing it.

Why that computer virus might not be what you think it is

I know, a very long winded title, but very much to the point, as you will see.

Did you know that clicking the 'X' button on the pop up from and internet site could cost you £50? Well, you'll sure know about it when you get scammed that way.

I was sitting at my laptop when a Windows bubble popped up on the bottom, right of my screen saying that my computer was infected.

There were two things that I noted during my complete shock at having a virus:
1. That I already had an antivirus that was working fine, which should have stopped it from contaminating the computer.
2. That I didn't recognise the antivirus software that had discovered this virus (or these many viruses, as I later found out).

I did what any sane person would do. I tried to scan my computer with the antivirus that I knew I had installed. Nothing. According the 'windows' it could not be opened as it was infected.

The scan from the unknown antivirus kicked in and I was forced to watch as it found several files that were at risk or critical. I even saw a couple of trojan's. I couldn't believe it. My other software must have been rubbish. The unknown antivirus prompted me to buy their full version, as their trial version did not get rid of the viruses.

I tried the internet next, to see if there was any way to get a free antivirus that would actually work. No such luck. Apparently a file that was meant to open it was infected. Funny though, that the website of the full mystery antivirus program was the only website I could get to. I deigned not to give any money to them.

So, my mum and I took it to a professional, and he took one look at it and told us that my laptop didn't have a virus.

In fact, what it was, was a very clever scam; a fake antivirus that you unwittingly download onto your computer. For example, you are on Facebook and you click on a link to something (a video maybe) that is meant to be hilarious. But there's a catch. To see the video, you have to downlaod something. You click 'X'/ Cancel.

But clever Mr programmer has other ideas. He's programmed both 'X' and 'Cancel' to actually mean yes and you download your unwanted file anyway. But it's not what you thought it was. It's an evil fake antivirus. In a few minutes, hours, or maybe the next time you turn on your computer, it will kick in a nd tel lyou that your computer is infected.

Unfortunately for you, if you believe it, chances are that the offer of buying the full, virus beating version of the one that may have saved your precious documents from being wiped, is a very welcome one.

The probelm is, the software you download for your hard earned cash doesn't actually do what it is supposed to. Some people will go back and pay more money, some people will take their computer to a professional at this point. But it's too late. They already have your bank details, your identity, and a bit of your money. Bummer.

My top tips to prevent this freom happening to you are partially what our professional said, and some common sense thrown in for good measure:

1. Get Firefox. It doesn't allow those kind of sites to get to your screen as it doesn't use ActiveX controls.

2. Instead of pressing 'X' or 'Cancel' to get rid of your risky pop up, press ctrl, Alt and Del at the same time and close the browser from there.

3. If you don't recognise the program, don't give it money. Especially if you alread yahve one that is supposed to do exactly the same thing.

4. Talk to a professional if you're not sure about anything, you may not completely know what's going on.

And before I go, a bit more advice: If anyone calls to tell you that your computer has a virus and that they can sort it out (yes, even microsoft), ask yourself 'how do they know'? Chances are, they're trying to scam you.